so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
