you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
