You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well you can't waste a boner
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
