what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
