Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
