think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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