Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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