Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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