are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
