Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
