How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
