I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
