There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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