I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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