I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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