I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
