he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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