I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
