He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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