So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
