i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
