Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
