I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
