The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Found the puke drawer
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
