yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
