Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
