I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
