with your own penis?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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