That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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