Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
