i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
