Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
