how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
