you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
