so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Go christen that room with your naked body.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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