Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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