this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
