Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
