So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
