You're my little dorito
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
