you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize