Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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