i may or may not be watching the land before time
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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