I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
