sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
