I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
