R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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