Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
