Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
