Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
