i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
