Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
