I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize