If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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