I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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