i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
