I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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