Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
