I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
