Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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