jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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