Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize