i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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