you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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