before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
