Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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