He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
smell my finger.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
