this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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