at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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