whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
